By Steven J. Stein, Howard Book
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Additional resources for The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success (JB Foreign Imprint Series - Canada.)
And the Absolute Shoulds: • • • I absolutely should _______________ (in order for me to feel okay). You (he/she/they) absolutely should ______________ (in order for me to feel okay). The world and my living conditions absolutely should ______________ (in order for me to feel okay). These demands make no sense. There’s no law stating that any of us must behave in certain ways or attain certain goals. Nor must others behave in accordance with our wishes. As for the world at large, it’s notoriously unfair.
Later that evening, at the dinner table, Bobby’s father couldn’t help but notice his unaccustomed silence. “You seem a bit preoccupied,” he said. ” “I’m kind of upset,” Bobby sighed. “Brenda’s been home for hours and she hasn’t called. I’m really worried that she’s lost interest in me. She’s probably found herself another guy—someone at the college. I don’t feel all that much like eating. ” With those words, he stood up and slouched off. How can we understand Bobby’s sudden downward spiral? At first glance the answer seems obvious: Bobby was upset simply because Brenda didn’t call him.
She thanks the passengers for their patience and asks them to step forward to discuss alternative arrangements. Collective anger sweeps the line of frustrated travelers, whose best-laid plans have suddenly been thrown into disarray. John’s heart sinks. He’d been planning on an evening’s worth of hard work upon reaching his destination. He has to prepare for an important presentation the following morning, and Flight 107 is the last direct connection of the day. This spells disaster in capital letters.